Jokes

As requested, this sub-forum is for partying, fun, gossip, conundrums, flirting, comedy, tragedy, or whatever.
John
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Location: Cambridge, MA USA
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Jokes

Postby John » Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:23 pm

With so much serious and depressing news in the world, we need
a place for jokes.

John
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Joined: Sat Sep 20, 2008 12:10 pm
Location: Cambridge, MA USA
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Re: Jokes

Postby John » Tue Feb 12, 2019 5:25 pm

** The Spanish Magician

Question: A Spanish magician wanted to count to three. What happened
to him?

Answer: He said: Uno, dos ... and then there was absolute silence.

He had disappeared without a tres.

FishbellykanakaDude
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Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2018 8:07 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby FishbellykanakaDude » Wed Feb 13, 2019 2:00 am

Oooooo,.. subtle! Excellent. I likez it........!

FishbellykanakaDude
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Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2018 8:07 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby FishbellykanakaDude » Wed Feb 13, 2019 2:09 am

John wrote:** The Spanish Magician

Question: A Spanish magician wanted to count to three. What happened
to him?

Answer: He said: Uno, dos ... and then there was absolute silence.

He had disappeared without a tres.


Question: A French stubborn incompetent utopian (politician/philosopher) wanted to count to four. What happened?

Answer: He said: Un, deux, trois, trois, trois, trois....

If at first you don't succeed, trois trois again...!!

Heisenberg
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Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2018 2:52 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby Heisenberg » Mon Mar 11, 2019 6:11 pm

What's the difference between the Prince of Wales, an ape, and a bald headed man?
The Prince of Wales is the heir apparent.
An ape has a hairy parent.
A bald-headed man has no hair apparent.

John
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Location: Cambridge, MA USA
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Re: Jokes

Postby John » Mon Mar 11, 2019 7:03 pm


  • Why did Werner Heisenberg hate driving cars? Because, every time
    he looked at the speedometer he got lost!

  • I do not know what is wrong with Heisenberg. He seems so sure of
    himself lately.

  • Heisenberg is stopped by a traffic cop who asks: "Do you know how
    fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know exactly
    where I am"


https://jcdverha.home.xs4all.nl/scijoke ... nberg.html

FishbellykanakaDude
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Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2018 8:07 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby FishbellykanakaDude » Tue Mar 12, 2019 8:48 pm

Heisenberg wrote:What's the difference between the Prince of Wales, an ape, and a bald headed man?
The Prince of Wales is the heir apparent.
An ape has a hairy parent.
A bald-headed man has no hair apparent.


What's the similarity between The Duchess of Cambridge, Paul Prenter, and a "lucky" drone?

- Kate will be a Queen Consort.
- Paul Prenter was a Queen Consort.
- "Lucky" Drone Bees are Queen Consorts,.. until their penises and associated abdominal tissues are ripped from the their bodies after sexual intercourse rendering them quite dead..
Last edited by FishbellykanakaDude on Tue Mar 12, 2019 9:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

FishbellykanakaDude
Posts: 729
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2018 8:07 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby FishbellykanakaDude » Tue Mar 12, 2019 9:12 pm

John wrote:

  • Why did Werner Heisenberg hate driving cars? Because, every time
    he looked at the speedometer he got lost!
  • I do not know what is wrong with Heisenberg. He seems so sure of
    himself lately.
  • Heisenberg is stopped by a traffic cop who asks: "Do you know how
    fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know exactly
    where I am"

https://jcdverha.home.xs4all.nl/scijoke ... nberg.html


Heisenberg, Schrödinger's cat, and a very agitated Paul Dirac burst through the front door of The Bloody Boar's Head Quantum Tavern and Public House twenty seven seconds before last call..

..Who got Bartender Richard Feynman's attention first?



(( ..and YES, the cat WAS clearly labelled "Schrödinger's Cat". ))


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