by Kenny73 » Wed Mar 05, 2025 3:54 pm
That's a heartening sign.
You know, Bob: when Trump first appeared on the political scene a decade ago, I was skeptical of the people psychoanalyzing him - including at least to some extent actual shrinks - because historically we judged political leaders on measures of moral character (the stuff of the ancients, and old masters) rather than mental health.
But having finally gotten clean and sober (after many years of active use), and done some real rather than fake therapy (if you're in therapy, and still using, it's likely to be about nursing/enabling your resentments rather than dealing with your actual trauma), I've come to understand that both my parents were raging narcissists - my late father of the grandiose type (ie the stage parent who sought to glorify himself through you), my mother the vulnerable type (ie the anti-stage parent who hates actual success for her kids, esp me) - and a helluva lot like Trump, who I do think is a malignant one.
At one time my parents had good jobs - my father was a network executive, and my mother was a special needs teacher and speech therapist - who one day decided to throw all caution to the proverbial wind and embark on a long (ie permanent) series of extremely ill advised and reckless business ventures, engulfing our family in an endless chaos. When I was younger, I thought it was just their naivete combined with the times (the Awakening and all), but...nope! (To the extent it had anything to do with the times - the people going off to find themselves, or whatever - it was probably an example of communal narcissism, where the narcissism is connected to something larger, in this case the culture/counter-culture.) Those jobs were never going to be good enough - my father would've retired a millionaire and my mother would have had extremely rich pension and health care benefits, as well as summers off and things - because no job is ever good enough for a narcissist.
So, the just bonkers business ventures? Yep, those! (I mean: practically anyone other than a narcissist would have known by the 80s/90s that Atlantic City was kind of a has been town, and risky bet - not Trump.) The bankruptcies? Those too! The bad investments with the money they did actually earn? Those as well! (From what I've read, Trump made something like 400 million dollars on the Apprentice, and then apparently squandered much or maybe all of it on risky investments in foreign golf resorts. Probably the only reason the Apprentice didn't go off the rails was because even though Trump was the star he still had a boss, Mark Burnett. That's the same reason why my father's career at CBS looked to an outsider like a success - he wasn't in control of things. But I'm sure Trump was unhappy as the star of that show - which really did glorify his own narcissistic self-concept - because again no job is ever good enough.)
My parents' first bankruptcy was when I was twelve - they/we lost everything: the homes, the cars, even what I had earned as an actor/model kid (I could've sued them under the Coogan Act, but what would've been the point: they had no money by then). About a week after they announced this to the kids, I wrote a letter to my 7th grade school counselor asking - begging, really - to be placed in foster care, and would someone please help me apply for scholarships to military school (which really was an xer/nomad sort of solution). But I didn't send it because who was I think I was worthy of that outcome? And how could I do that to my own parents?
So I've been watching the latest season of the Trump Show as the adult child of undiagnosed and untreated narcissist parents. And i think the country as a whole (regardless of who you voted for) is going to find out what it is like to have a parent with narcissistic personality disorder - the chaos, not success, is the point; it is the endgame. Unless, of course, people - the courts, the opposition, maybe even some from his own party - begin to step in and tell him no, or he gets help (which of course won't happen). (And Trump at least for now does have a co-parent in this, whose name is not JD Vance but Elon Musk.)
I also think that in the end the ancients and the old masters have the final say. The Trump story, I've long thought, is part farce, but also part tragedy. I think Trump's end is a lot like his fictional hero Charles Foster Kane, his final days spent alone in a gilded cage at Mar a Lago or Trump Tower, shunned by the global A list whose approval he spent his lifetime seeking. In the end Trump may be more Gatsby than Great American, those people saying: he was never really one of us, anyhow - and that's just about Trump's biggest fear.
That's a heartening sign.
You know, Bob: when Trump first appeared on the political scene a decade ago, I was skeptical of the people psychoanalyzing him - including at least to some extent actual shrinks - because historically we judged political leaders on measures of moral character (the stuff of the ancients, and old masters) rather than mental health.
But having finally gotten clean and sober (after many years of active use), and done some real rather than fake therapy (if you're in therapy, and still using, it's likely to be about nursing/enabling your resentments rather than dealing with your actual trauma), I've come to understand that both my parents were raging narcissists - my late father of the grandiose type (ie the stage parent who sought to glorify himself through you), my mother the vulnerable type (ie the anti-stage parent who hates actual success for her kids, esp me) - and a helluva lot like Trump, who I do think is a malignant one.
At one time my parents had good jobs - my father was a network executive, and my mother was a special needs teacher and speech therapist - who one day decided to throw all caution to the proverbial wind and embark on a long (ie permanent) series of extremely ill advised and reckless business ventures, engulfing our family in an endless chaos. When I was younger, I thought it was just their naivete combined with the times (the Awakening and all), but...nope! (To the extent it had anything to do with the times - the people going off to find themselves, or whatever - it was probably an example of communal narcissism, where the narcissism is connected to something larger, in this case the culture/counter-culture.) Those jobs were never going to be good enough - my father would've retired a millionaire and my mother would have had extremely rich pension and health care benefits, as well as summers off and things - because no job is ever good enough for a narcissist.
So, the just bonkers business ventures? Yep, those! (I mean: practically anyone other than a narcissist would have known by the 80s/90s that Atlantic City was kind of a has been town, and risky bet - not Trump.) The bankruptcies? Those too! The bad investments with the money they did actually earn? Those as well! (From what I've read, Trump made something like 400 million dollars on the Apprentice, and then apparently squandered much or maybe all of it on risky investments in foreign golf resorts. Probably the only reason the Apprentice didn't go off the rails was because even though Trump was the star he still had a boss, Mark Burnett. That's the same reason why my father's career at CBS looked to an outsider like a success - he wasn't in control of things. But I'm sure Trump was unhappy as the star of that show - which really did glorify his own narcissistic self-concept - because again no job is ever good enough.)
My parents' first bankruptcy was when I was twelve - they/we lost everything: the homes, the cars, even what I had earned as an actor/model kid (I could've sued them under the Coogan Act, but what would've been the point: they had no money by then). About a week after they announced this to the kids, I wrote a letter to my 7th grade school counselor asking - begging, really - to be placed in foster care, and would someone please help me apply for scholarships to military school (which really was an xer/nomad sort of solution). But I didn't send it because who was I think I was worthy of that outcome? And how could I do that to my own parents?
So I've been watching the latest season of the Trump Show as the adult child of undiagnosed and untreated narcissist parents. And i think the country as a whole (regardless of who you voted for) is going to find out what it is like to have a parent with narcissistic personality disorder - the chaos, not success, is the point; it is the endgame. Unless, of course, people - the courts, the opposition, maybe even some from his own party - begin to step in and tell him no, or he gets help (which of course won't happen). (And Trump at least for now does have a co-parent in this, whose name is not JD Vance but Elon Musk.)
I also think that in the end the ancients and the old masters have the final say. The Trump story, I've long thought, is part farce, but also part tragedy. I think Trump's end is a lot like his fictional hero Charles Foster Kane, his final days spent alone in a gilded cage at Mar a Lago or Trump Tower, shunned by the global A list whose approval he spent his lifetime seeking. In the end Trump may be more Gatsby than Great American, those people saying: he was never really one of us, anyhow - and that's just about Trump's biggest fear.